A Child Again

Help me Lord to be a child again

The one You knew before life's pain and shame
A simple child who trusts & knows no fear
Who in my smallness, rests in my Abba dear


Help me to know Your love - not just in my head, but in my heart
To be anchored deeply - amidst life's storms and valleys dark
To let go of all my fears and inhibitions and doubts;
And let you take me to new adventures and mountain tops

(inspired by Up!)

Who am I? (by Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

Who am I? They often tell me I would step from my cell's confinement calmly, cheerfully, firmly, like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They also tell me I would talk to my warders freely and friendly and clearly, as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me I would bear the days of misfortune equably, smilingly, proudly, like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of? Or am I only what I myself know of myself, restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat, yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds, thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, trembling with anger at despotisms and petty humiliation, tossing in expectation of great events, powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today, and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army, fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine.

The enemy within (by Carl Jung)

The acceptance of oneself is the essence of the whole moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook on life. That I feed the hungry, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ - all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I do unto the least of my brethren, that I do unto Christ.

But what if I should discover that the least among them all, the poorest of all beggars, the most impudent of all the offenders, the very enemy himself - that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness - that I myself am the enemy who must be loved - what then? As a rule, the Christian's attitude is then reversed: there is no longer any question of love or long suffering; we say to the brother within us "Raca," and condemn and rage against ourselves. We hide it from the world; we refuse to admit ever having met this least among the lowly in ourselves.

Judas could not face his shadow; Peter could. The latter befriended the imposter within; the former raged against him (Brennan Manning).

The hardest battle

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting (ee cummings)

A Youthful Soul

I like what the late General Douglas MacArthur said - Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccupations, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature, and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul.

A Decision

After weeks of taking western medication followed by Chinese medicine, I made a decision to change my diet and eat anti-histamine foods to get rid of this lingering cough. So for the next 3 months, I will bid goodbye to my favourite desserts and eat the following and see how I do:

1. Vegetables - Bell Peppers, Bok Choy, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Cauliflower, Garlic, Green Beans, Spring Onions, Kale, Leeks, Olives, Spinach, Sweet potatoes, Tomatoes
2. Fruits - Apples, Avocados, Pineapple, Guavas, Kiwifruit, Lemons, Papaya
3. Nuts - Almonds, Flaxseed/Linseed, Hazelnuts, Sunflower Seeds, Walnuts
4. Fish - Cod, Herring, Salmon, Sardines, Snapper Fish, Striped Bass, Tuna
5. Drink - Green tea, lots of water
6. Supplements - Quercetin, Omega 3 fatty acids, Bromelain, Vitamin C
7. What to cut down on - animal protein intake, dairy, wheat and gluten products, artificial sweeteners and sugar

Prayer to the Restorer of Entombed Vitality (by Joyce Rupp)

This is a wonderful poem by Joyce Rupp (taken from Out of the Ordinary)

Awakened One
source of inner power
restorer of tombed vitality
giver of graced gusto

you who have been raised
from the cold stone of death
come and resurrect me
from my own entombment

repair what has weakened
in my spiritual endeavors
revive my mildewed
cobwebbed relationships

lift up my waning hope
when I wail with the world's pain
restore my sense of oneness
with all your creation

refresh my daily call
to embrace the sacred
to find you in every gesture
that dances with your heart

push back the stone
of self-centredness
untomb my generosity
renew my dedication

raise up my dilapidated dreams
restore my ancient union
resuscitate my burning desire
re-establish my priorities
so you become the Centre
of all I am and all I do

Nicodemus

I came at night to see the Teacher
To find out about the miracles that defied nature
Filled with fear but compelled by my question - Is this really God sanctioned?

You must be born again - I was told.
His words defied all logic known
You must be born from heaven, by the Spirit.
It's unseen, unpredictable, but you will feel it

His words awakened a deep yearning in my heart,
And dispelled the fear I had from the start.
It may cost me everything I am and have
But I will follow Him with resolution and pizzaz.

An Easter Thanksgiving

Jesus You took on all my sin;
Every wrong and pain and disfigurement within.
You paid a debt You did not owe
Not destroy this unworthy soul.
How can I ever repay You fully?
For all I am and have comes from You only....I can only say "thank you Lord" from my heart; and pledge Your words to remember and never depart.

Rewriting the pages

God made my life complete
When I placed all the pieces before him.
God rewrote the text of my life
When I opened the book of my heart to His eyes
(Psalms 18, The Message)